The Bell Curve

City Paper's Quality-o-Life-o-Meter

The murder and violent-crime rates are down this year, but are above Michael Nutter's goals for 2008. "I just can't stop killing," he sighs. Plus 1

Applicants to fill the 128 teacher vacancies in the Philadelphia school district say hiring process is too slow. Also, the working process is dangerous and the payment process is inadequate. Minus 4

Michael Nutter says his proposed parking meter hike is to decrease congestion, rather than alleviate the city's budget woes. "If you think a meter hike is gonna solve this budget crisis, I've got a bridge I want to sell you. No, really, it's called the Tacony Bridge. You can have it for $300. Two hundred? How about you just take it, assume responsibility for cleaning up all the Shorti wrappers, and we'll call it even." Plus 2

City Council President Anna Verna says she will take a 5 percent salary cut to help address the city's $1 billion budget deficit. Verna makes $20 billion a year. Plus 1

Joe Biden, Cole Hamels and Pat Burrell watched the Eagles game against the Giants in Jeff Lurie's suite. "You know, boys, all three of us are on top of the world right now," says Biden, kicking back with a beer. "Hey Cole," whispers Burrell, "who's that?" Plus 1

Chris May will officially replace Larry Mendte on CBS3 after taking over for him in an interim capacity. "We were very impressed with Chris' performance," says station exec. "He did not once violate federal espionage laws." Even

Northeast native Chris Ferguson named commander of the space shuttle Endeavor. At least that's what he tells all the butterfaces and double baggers down at Fibber McGee's. Plus 4

Total Pluses: 9

Total Minuses: 4

Total for the Week 5

Last Week's Total: 2,006,087